I don’t remember what lead to it, but Darwin and I had the marriage conversation about a year into our relationship. We bonded over our mutual desire to not have a wedding. Neither of us were in a rush, but being the control freak I am, I muttered how I had it all planned out: no one else is to be present, do not get down on one knee. I want to wake up one morning to him ~popping the question~ in bed with mimosas. I wanted a ring with a thin band and a solitaire stone. No frou frou stuff, plz.
Later we bought our first lil house together and shortly after, found out we were knocked up. I remember a short conversation about how I wanted our Little Chicken involved in the proposal. Didn’t think about it much after that.
I remember someone asking when I was getting married since I was pregnant. I recall snapping, “doesn’t matter now, it’s kind of obvious that we’ve had sex” That SHUT HER UP am I right???
Again, I wasn’t in a rush. We were on a mortgage together. We had a baby together. We were stuck together ~*for life.*~ Aside from when I would imitate that annoying girl on my favorite realty show by whining “why don’t you wanna marry meeeee?” in a high pitched voice, we never really talked about getting married. It wasn’t on my radar which I guess explains why I, normally a nosy control freak, was oblivious to ALL THE CLUES.
CLUES: First, Darwin called me on his way home from work and said he was gonna stop for beer. Very unlike myself, I chose not to question why he would do that when we have a 12 pack in the fridge. He called ten minutes later asking if we had OJ and if not, he was going to stop for some. Uh, we haven’t drank orange juice in months. I threw out an entire expired bottle last week, I thought but oddly chose not to say out loud. When he got home I asked what he wanted to do the next day, his first full day off all week. “Oh, we’re gonna do something,” he said. Normal me would question this, demanding a plan. I let it go. WHY?? I still don’t know.
That night, in a slumber filled daze, I stipped Gavin down to his diaper. I don’t remember doing it, or why I did it. I think I saw that he was sweaty. I don’t know.
The next morning Darwin jumped right out of bed. Would be odd but since his new schedule requires him to get up early 5 days a week, I didn’t think much of it. What was weird was him saying “that’s enough!” to Gavin while he was eating. He proceeded to remove the baby from my boob and leave the room. I asked him, jokingly, to bring me coffee “Oh, I’ll get you some coffee,” he said, which was odd because he usually whines about me constantly asking him to do crap for me. As he was exiting stage left, I yelled “put some clothes on that baby!” to which he said he would! No resistance from him at all! What the f!
I pretended to be asleep when they came back 30 minutes later. I hoped he would see me passed out and leave me the hell alone. “Take this baby,” he said. I looked up and saw Gavin wearing a white onesie with words on it. I sat up to read it, still sleepy and pre-contact insertion. Immediately I thought it was a hand me down we had received with stupid writing on it like I’m Mommy’s favorite or something dumb. I thought Huh? ‘Will you marry’? Who the hell gave us this onesie? ‘Will you marry…. my Papi’??? I was putting it together. It was making sense. I started screaming! Darwin had Gav in one had and the ring box and two mimosas in the other. The rest was a blur. I don’t remember anything else. I hope I said yes. It was exactly how I wanted it! In bed, sleepy morning, mimosas, Gavin involved, and the EXACT RING I WANTED!
As someone so controlling, who has to know every detail of every little thing, it really didn’t seem likely that Darwin, a very laid back person with very little attention to detail, could pull this off. Honestly. I know that sounds bad, but it’s just his personality. He’s not much of a planner. But he did it! And I didn’t suspect a thing!
There were so many clues. So many opportunities for me to stumble upon evidence of his plans. So many questions my prying self could’ve asked. But I didn’t! It worked out perfectly. And we lived happily ever after. (So far. It’s only been 48 hours).